Behind his back
by Sergeant Cody
Summary: Commander Cody overhears a conversation of some clones speaking ill of him. How will it affect him?


**_Notes: Don't bother looking for any point of this story, you probably won't find any. It's just me feeling sad._**

Cody walked slowly through the base. He just finished a briefing and so he could finally get some rest. But first he headed for the mess hall. The commander wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings as he was sorting few documents on his datapad, until he heard his name.

He looked up and listened closely to a conversation, which a few clones were having. Cody thought he would just walk past them, but his curiosity made him stop before the clones could see him and listened.

"…it doesn't really feel like Cody is one of us anymore."

"When was the last time the commander was on the battlefield? He only leads the briefings."

"One would expect he would at least come up with plans that are not crazy or suicidal. It's like he doesn't care for us."

Cody stood there frozen, being filled up with fear. Why was he feeling fear? Shouldn't he be angry? He knew well not everyone would like him as a commander, but overhearing a conversation in which his own people insulted him struck him hard. With fear, sadness, disappointment… but why not anger? If anyone had a problem with him, he could tell him face to face. Cody could accept criticism and counteroffers and act reasonably and fair to people who came with it. But being insulted and gossiped behind his back felt treacherous and lame.

At first Cody wanted very badly to just stormed into the room and set the rumours straight. He wanted to explain them how hard he works and tries to prevent losses and how much he would love to just sit with his brothers and have some fun. All his communication with other clones was now purely on work level as he was giving orders and receiving reports. Sometimes he talked to Rex, but they saw each other just occasionally.

Cody actually created a whole speech in his head. All he needed to do was walk through the door…

But he didn't do it. He does not have to explain himself to them. But he still felt it would help him feel better. He also wondered if the anger would appear, because it seemed to be a proper reaction.

Cody avoided the room and walked to his one. There he just lied on the bed, lost in thoughts. He wanted to forget it or better – not even overhear it. _Will it change my approach now?_

Cody folded his arms. He finally felt a tingle of anger. _How dare they! If they have a problem with me, they can tell ME! How dare they whine like this behind my back! They have no right!_

Cody jumped off the bed and started pacing. _I need to stop thinking about it. I need to act like I haven't heard them._ With this idea Cody went to the mess hall to get something to eat.

He sat to the edge of a table and occupied himself with the food. But he still couldn't help it and thought about the insults. Then something else crossed his mind: why was he still sitting alone? He came to the mess hall before ten minutes and no one of the newcomers sat to his table.

 _What if everyone thinks of me ill? Could I be the one who is wrong?_ The anger was gone leaving no trace and being replaced with fear.

 _Stop being afraid!_ Cody yelled at himself inwardly. But it wouldn't go away; the emotion seemed to embed itself very deeply.

The commander got up and left the mess hall. On his way he tried to convince himself that he behaves stupidly and he should let it go. _But how can I let it go? How can I act as I hadn't heard anything?_

Cody returned to his bed not bothering to take his armour off. He curled up into a ball and didn't care how uncomfortable it was. _Am I a good commander? I do everything the best I can, but am I right?_

 _I should give up the post of a commander._ Cody opened his eyes in surprise. _Where the Force did that come from?! Now I am being irrational and stupid. I had known some people disliked me before this. But why did it hit me so hard?_

 _Just forget it._ He commanded and fell asleep.

…

Cody felt a bit better the next day. He buried himself in the work, but when his mind wasn't occupied with reports and strategies the sadness came back and no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he wasn't to blame, the couldn't shake it off.

The worst were the moments when he saw a group of clones and noticed how they treated him differently. Sure, he was a commander so they had to follow protocol and salute him and stuff, but Cody saw it differently now. Every time clones stopped talking and saluted him and didn't start talking until he was away from them made him remember.

And that's how Cody stopped smiling and trying to interact with others outside the work. Others probably thought he was just war-weary as many of them and no one looked for another reason.

…

But one day, Rex's and Cody's paths crossed once again. They were walking through a battlefield returning to the base after a battle.

"Rex, what do you think of me?" Cody asked out of the blue.

"What?" Rex looked at him, confused. Cody's sad expression asked him again. "Okay… I think you're one of the best commanders of GAR."

"Really?" Cody doubted.

"Yes, of course." Rex confirmed.

Cody smiled.

"Are you alright?" Rex frowned, when the commander hugged him. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Nothing anymore." Cody said, still smiling. Then he started walking to the base as if nothing happened and left the puzzled captain behind.


End file.
